Everyone who holds the keys to a building and who has the responsibility for locking and securing the place must have several fears about getting right, night after night. Leaving it open, too long, locking it early, too soon, locking someone in, and more. Sense and sensibility all round are obviously in demand but sometimes in short supply should a mishap happen.
Locked in the building
Got locked in the building when she went to the loo.
Oh dear what should she do?
After all 10 minutes is such a long time.
Her Mum should tweet Jeremy Vine.
9 minutes past nine, oh that’s so sweet.
Mum’s included Jo Whiley in her tweet,
Caretakers clocked off early for the night.
Get the fact’s straight, cos that’s not right.
Phoned the police, can she do anymore?
Of course she could’ve left by the fire door.
She could’ve phoned the uni phone number.
She never thought of that oh what a bummer.
The papers and TV now know her name.
Oh great, she’s got her five minutes of fame.
They all want her story to broadcast.
I can tell you now it’s such a farce.
Now she’s managed to get out.
She’ll post her picture with a nice pout.
For nearly an hour she’s been locked in.
But “oh it’s so good to feel the air on her skin”.
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This poem is narrated by Lorraine Ansell, a British female voiceover professional.